Emotional crises are common in life, but many people often feel at a loss.

When we face rejection, failure, sudden loss, loneliness, guilt, or uncontrollable overthinking, negative emotions can feel overwhelming. While the situation might not require professional intervention, the immediate pain can be unbearable.

When emotions spiral out of control and we lack healthy, effective ways to manage them, trouble follows—we might make impulsive and regrettable choices (like binge eating, calling an ex, or lashing out at loved ones).

Alternatively, we may find ourselves completely consumed by these emotions, unable to function normally in work or daily life.

Most households have a first-aid kit filled with bandages, gauze, and painkillers to treat physical injuries—but we rarely prepare a “psychological first-aid kit” to deal with emotional wounds. As a result, we often just endure the pain when it happens.

Here are a few simple and easy-to-implement emotional first-aid techniques to help you care for yourself when caught in an emotional spiral and avoid destructive outcomes. Let’s take a look!

(Note: Emotional first aid is not a substitute for help from mental health professionals. For serious psychological injuries or mental health disorders, professional treatment is necessary.)

Stop What You're Doing and Take Ten Deep Breaths

We breathe all the time, but the key to emotional first aid is to breathe consciously. This activates your parasympathetic nervous system, helping you feel calmer.

Pause for a moment, focus your attention on your breath, and make both your inhales and exhales last longer than usual. Count slowly from one to ten with each breath, then start over and repeat this process a few times.

As you continue, take note of any gradual changes in your emotions.

Move Your Body

Intense emotional waves can often trigger physical responses, such as feeling frozen or tightness in the chest.

In these moments, try moving your body. Stand up and stretch your arms, take a few steps, spin around, or gently touch or pat your body.

Psychologist Noam Shpancer explains that emotions and actions are interconnected: while emotions often drive our actions, there are times when our actions can drive our emotions. One of the quickest ways to change how you feel is to change what you do.

If you're feeling slightly better, you might take on small tasks like tidying up—wiping a table or folding clothes—or go for a walk outside to refresh your surroundings.

Once your body starts moving, you'll often feel a renewed sense of strength, and your emotions can begin to loosen and flow more freely.

Write Down or Speak Out Your Emotions as Specifically as Possible

During an emotional crisis, we often struggle to pinpoint exactly how we feel. Instead, we might simply sense a vague discomfort—“uneasy, off, unwell”—without fully understanding what’s happening. This lack of clarity can leave us feeling out of control and helpless, as if we're being pulled into a whirlpool.

In such moments, pausing to examine and articulate your emotions can be incredibly helpful. Try naming your emotions by writing them down or talking to a trusted friend.

Ask yourself questions like:

• What am I feeling inside? Try to describe it—am I sad, angry, or feeling utterly terrible?
• What triggered this feeling?
• What urges am I noticing? Do I want to scream, throw things, or avoid others completely?

“When we label an emotion, it can become more manageable,” explains Seth J. Gillihan, assistant clinical professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania. “Even if it doesn’t change the emotion, it allows us the possibility of choosing how we respond.”

Simply recognizing and identifying your emotions can provide a sense of certainty and control, helping you feel a bit better.

Research also shows that people who can distinguish between their emotions are better at regulating them and more effective at reducing negative feelings (Daphne Y. Liu, 2020).

How to Improve Emotional Recognition and Name Your Emotions?

You can start by reading our previous article: "154 ‘Hard-to-Describe’ Emotions: Reconnecting with Yourself by Naming Your Emotions." By stopping the resistance against emotions, you can reduce their intensity.

A large part of emotional crises is tied to people's resistance to their emotions—denying them or desperately trying to eliminate them. But often, this only makes the emotions grow stronger.

Fighting emotions is futile, much like swimming against a strong current. It only tires you out more. Many times, emotional suffering does not come from the emotions themselves, but from mistakes in how we try to regulate them (Noam Shpancer, 2022).

So, it’s important to stop resisting and to accept them. Emotions are like the internal weather. Just as you accept a cloudy day, accept that you feel frustrated or down at this moment.

Acceptance brings many benefits. First, it reflects your honesty and courage to face pain, which strengthens your sense of empowerment.

Secondly, accepting negative emotions reduces their destructiveness. No matter how strong the emotion, it will eventually dissipate as long as you don’t amplify it.

It’s like being caught in a current—your best move isn’t to fight, but to let the water carry you out to sea. Soon, the current will weaken and fade, and you’ll be able to swim around it and safely return to shore.

Feeling Pain? Most of the Time, It’s You ‘Kicking’ Yourself

Cognitive therapy suggests that evaluative cognition plays an important role in emotional experiences. When we feel pain, most of the time it’s because we’re negatively evaluating ourselves.

Emotions may arise from various reasons, such as rejection from others, a failed project, or not finding a companion to go out with. But in the end, we judge ourselves negatively: "I’m not trying hard enough, I’m so stupid, no one likes me." This judgment is like us forcefully “kicking” ourselves—of course, it hurts.

What you need to do is try to stop this negative self-judgment. Here are some methods to try:

1. Accept Your Emotions, But Don’t Believe Them

In fact, our emotions often provide distorted, one-sided, and biased information. If someone repeatedly told you, “You are a purple pig, you are a purple pig,” you might find it amusing or annoying, but you certainly wouldn’t take it seriously.

This is similar to thinking, “I’m garbage, no one will like me.” Both statements are mostly absurd and untrue.

2. Replace Judgment with Descriptive Facts

Not making judgments means removing biases and using descriptive facts instead of evaluations.

Notice the difference between these two expressions: “I didn’t accomplish what I wanted to do today, and I feel a little guilty and frustrated” vs. “I’m so lazy and useless, I’m destined to fail at everything.”

3. Change Perspective: Imagine What a Loved One Would Say to You

You can sit quietly and imagine what someone you love would say to you during a difficult moment. Would they blame you? Or would they think you’ve done your best? Maybe they would take you out for a nice meal or suggest getting a good rest.

By practicing this regularly, we experience a sense of "self-care" and gradually reduce the negative critical voice.

As Rebuilding Life puts it: “There are many ways to love yourself, but it must start with never criticizing yourself for anything.” At least, not with harsh criticism.

Prepare Your Own "Self-Soothing Kit" for Everyday Life

Sometimes, negative emotions can hit hard and unexpectedly, and you might not have time to do anything about it. In such moments, having a "self-soothing kit" ready can be incredibly useful.

A "self-soothing kit" refers to items that help calm you down, make you feel warm, and boost your self-esteem, like a safe haven.

For example, it could be a book, a video from your favorite blogger, a TV show you've watched countless times, a small blanket or stuffed animal, or even calling a particular friend.

Here’s my version of the self-soothing kit, which I keep in my phone’s notes. Whenever I need emotional first aid, I pull it out to use.

Let me share a "Happy Vault Notebook." Simply put, it’s a notebook where you record your "high points"—moments when you felt happy, loved, or acknowledged. It's like a bank of happiness. These precious moments will offer warmth and energy when you find yourself caught in an emotional whirlpool.

You might also consider adopting a pet. "Pet therapy" has been proven in many studies to be an effective way to alleviate emotional crises.

After using these methods to calm down, you can explore further to understand what really happened and why you felt that way.

Emotions are just signals, and deeper causes may include harm from external environments, unresolved past traumas, or suppressed needs within yourself.

Additionally, these emotional first-aid techniques might not work for everyone. You might find some more effective than others, and some might not be as suitable for you. I recommend experimenting with different methods and finding what works best for you.

Lastly, I hope everyone can create their own emotional first-aid kit, so you can take better care of yourself when needed ❤️~