Humans are creatures of habit and habitat. We’ve covered how to make your environment more sleep-friendly, how to put your body in the ideal state for sleep before bed, and even practices to calm your mind and put you in the mood for restful sleep. Now it’s time to put these things together in a succinct pattern that really works for you long-term.

 

Your brain loves to fall into patterns so that it can free up space to do other things. The more unconscious competencies we have, the more apt we are to have greater success and productivity.

 

What is an unconscious competency?

 

Well, there are ultimately four stages to learning any new skill or habit.

 

Unconscious incompetence — when you’re doing something wrong and you don’t know you’re doing it wrong

 

Conscious incompetence — when you’re doing something wrong but you know you’re doing it wrong

 

Conscious competence — when you’re doing something right but you have to consciously focus on doing it the right way

 

Unconscious competence — when you’re doing something right and you don’t even have to think about it

 

 

 

Initially, putting the things that you’ve learned in this book into action will put you in a phase of conscious competence. You’re going to have to think about them and put conscious effort into doing them right. It’s sort of like when you first learned to drive. You’re very mindful of everything, you have a checklist when you get into your car: adjust seat, mirrors, seat belt, etc. and you make sure you have them right. While driving, you’re hyper-aware. Eyes moving, paying attention to your speed, monitoring road signs, other cars, and being extra careful.

 

Then fast-forward a few months. When you hop in your car, key goes in the ignition and you’re out of there. Not being reckless, by any means, but you’ve got the checklist automated. Your brain notices that the seat and mirrors are right even without your conscious awareness needing to go there. The driving process itself can become so second nature that you can get into your car for a 20 minutes drive, and not even consciously remember all the steps you took to arrive at your destination.

 

It’s not that you were hypnotized by an evil mutant, it’s that you’re brain has freed up space to do other things because driving has become a strong unconscious competence. Your conscious mind can hop in if there’s an irregularity or problem, but overall your brain has this activity on cruise control.

 

To put getting great sleep every night on cruise control, it’s simply a matter of ritualizing things just like when you first learn to drive. The word ritual is derived from the Latin word ritus meaning “a proven way of doing something.” A ritual is a small sequence of step-by-step actions that put you in a certain mood, state or frame of mind for getting something done.

 

Whether or not you’ve had a history of sleep problems, a regular bedtime ritual will help you wind down and prepare your body for the best sleep possible.

 

Jessica Alexander of The Sleep Council stated, “A bedtime ritual teaches the brain to become familiar with sleep times and wake times. It programs the brain and internal body clock to get used to a set routine.”

 

Parents throughout time are well aware of the power of bedtime rituals for their kids. Some may include a warm bath, putting on pajamas, a bedtime story, relaxing music, or something as simple as a kiss on the forehead and a loving tuck into bed.

 

If you establish a consistent bedtime ritual, your kids drift off to sleep before you know it. Their brains and bodies have completely linked those systematic activities to going right to sleep. And, as I said before, in many ways we’re just big adult babies, and the same basic programming is still there. We just need to learn to tap into it.

 

Dr. Lawrence Epstein of Harvard Medical School said, “Our body craves routine and likes to know what’s coming.” By creating a pre-sleep ritual, you’re establishing a clear association between specific activities and sleep.

 

Let’s look at some common and effective activities you can add to your evening ritual to help you get a great night’s sleep.

 

Get in the Mood

 

Relaxation before bed is essential. You’re going to discover that maintaining an evening ritual is like having an off switch for the stress in your life.

 

Stress is typically tied up to an unwillingness to let things go, and keeping things ping ponging around in your mind. Here are some specific strategies to help relax, de-stress, and get into the right state for sleep:

 

Read some fiction: It’s not a surprise that kids sleep better than most adults. Reading fiction or having someone else read you fiction is powerful for relaxing our overused, analytical left-brain. There are few things more capable of disconnecting you from your stress, worries, and tension than escaping to another world within the pages of a book.

 

Non-fiction can be okay if it’s a biography or something along those lines. But the best bet is too avoid the analytical, methodical, teaching, or training types of books.

 

Also, where you read may be important too. Dr. Epstein advises to create a clear association between your bed and sleep. It’s recommended that you read anywhere in your home other than your bed itself if you don’t have this strong association built. You can read in your bedroom, just not in your bed if you can’t handle the reading rainbow juice.

 

Take a bath: A warm bath or shower shortly before bed can help you unwind and relax. Water by itself can have a very calming effect, but adding aromatherapy or magnesium bath salts to the equation can make it even better.

 

Be sure that the water isn’t too hot or you run the risk of raising your core body temperature too much. Also, be sure that you don’t hop right out and go straight to bed. Allow several minutes for your core temperature to come back down, or some experts recommend finishing up with a cold bath or shower for this purpose.

 

Journaling: This is a powerful practice that some of the most successful people in the world do. From Oprah, to Tony Robbins, journaling has been a consistent part of their lives. For the intents of a pre-bedtime ritual, you can use your journal to capture stray thoughts; to get any of the random ideas out of your head and out onto the paper. That alone will help free up mental space.

 

You could also use the journal as a check-in. To look at your progress and affirm what steps you need to take next. Again, getting it out of your head and onto the paper.

 

Gratitude log: Part of the reason people have anxiety and trouble sleeping is a fixation on the things they haven’t done and what they don’t have. If you’re reading this right now, chances are you are far more fortunate than you realize, and you may have gotten out of touch with just how much you have to be grateful for.

 

You can use a gratitude log to simply capture three to five things that you were grateful for today. It could be big things, it could be small things. Just the act of paying attention and writing them down to end your day will make you more receptive to all of the good things that happen that we end up taking for granted.

 

Meditation and/or prayers: I remember when I was little; my grandmother would always have me say my prayers before I go to bed. The prayer ended with me asking for the people I love to be protected. I remember saying each person I could think of by name. My grandmother was incredibly patient with me, because that list would be pretty long sometimes. In Chapter 16, we talked in-depth about the positive affects of meditation on sleep quality. The results are real, but only useful if you use it.

 

Now that we have some more relaxation tools to add to the mix, here’s a simple, easy checklist to create a strong neuro-association between your bedtime rituals and getting amazing sleep.

 

Evening Ritual Checklist:

 

[ ] Electronic screens off 90 minutes (minimum) before bed

 

[ ] Stretch and/or bath or shower

 

[ ] Read some fiction

 

[ ] Brush your teeth

 

[ ] Use the bathroom

 

[ ] Journal

 

[ ] Meditation, prayers, or give gratitude

 

[ ] Lay down in bed to sleep

 

[ ]Time to say goodnight

 

Sleep is the secret sauce.

 

The human body is brilliantly designed to utilize sleep to improve virtually every function that you have. You don’t plug into a socket. You are made anew by honoring your body and getting the sleep you require.

 

The path to success will not be made by bypassing dreamland. You require sleep to be the greatest version of yourself, and no pill, potion, or tactic can change that.

 

To be great at something, you have to make a study of it. I’m truly honored and happy that you picked up this book and decided to make a study of something that will bring you great health and happiness for many years to come.

 

In our world today, it’s the simple things that help us reconnect with what is most valuable. It is my hope that this book helps you to reconnect to nature, reconnect to joy, and reconnect to what’s most important about yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

Ritualize It Power Tip #1

 

While driving, abnormal things can happen on the road, just like things can come up and interrupt the flow of your evening rituals. Roll with it, be flexible, and do the very best you can to stay on track. It’s not about being perfect by any means, but it is about being aware of what you need to do, and consistently putting a priority on yourself.

 

If your evening ritual is a little off, because of travel for example, just do the majority of things that you would normally do in the same, systematic fashion. Stretch, read some fiction, brush your teeth, journal, and get into bed. Do your best to work with your body and your body will work with you.

 

Remember, your best is usually a lot more than you think it is. Sometimes we will put our own well-being on the back-burner and throw up our hands in conceit. We will say that we are trying our best, but if we do an honest assessment, we’ll usually find that we had much more skill and creativity to bring to the table than we will admit.

 

Be honest with yourself. And, if you make a mistake, forgive yourself and fix it. In our world where sleep has become an enemy, it may take some time to get reacquainted with the friend that sleep really is.

 

 

 

 

 

Ritualize It Power Tip #2

 

It’s commonly believed that it takes around 21 days to form a new habit. The reality is that it actually depends on the size and scope of the habit, with research finding some habits taking a few weeks, while other habits can take several months.

 

To really ensure that you make your evening ritual “automated,” take action to follow it as close as possible for a minimum of 30 days. In the beginning, you have to experiment a bit to find out what works best for you, but once you find it, it’s all about consistency from there.

 

A great quote I once heard, in regards to people being successful, stated that, “We find something that works, and then we stop doing it.” Don’t fall into that trap. From this point forward, hold yourself to a higher standard, and structure things in your life to support your success rather than tear it down. There is so much greatness in you waiting to be shared, and it starts with passion, consistency, and getting a great night’s sleep.