Recently, a term has been trending repeatedly: "Affluenza in Childhood".

Simply put, it refers to the situation where many children have abundant material lives but suffer from emotional emptiness, a lack of self-motivation, and poor resilience.

In fact, this term first appeared in a sociological study in 1908. The English word "Affluenza" is considered a contagious and painful disease like the flu. It also poses a sharp question:

Why don't children with such superior economic conditions become happier and more perseverant?

Blythe Grossberg, a psychology doctor graduated from Harvard, wrote a best - selling book, I Tutored in the Upper East Side. Through observing a group of children in the Upper East Side of New York, she gave a sharp answer:

These children, who attend expensive schools from a young age and are surrounded by parents, institutions, and teachers, have too easy access to peak life experiences and too many choices. As a result, they lose interest in everything around them early on and fall into a sense of meaninglessness.

Ironically and sadly, this phenomenon has spread to more and more middle - class families, who willingly fall into the trap of raising children in a wealthy way.

■ In the popular third season of The White Lotus, a girl from an elite school who seems to be full of compassion for the world is portrayed. Deeply troubled by a sense of meaninglessness, she goes to a Thai temple for a gap year but can't even last one night: "The food they eat isn't even organic. I feel guilty, but I just have a princess syndrome." It's a sharp satire.

Premature "Peak Experiences"

What does a child raised in a "wealthy" way look like?

When the author visited families in the Upper East Side, she found that spots in private kindergartens were extremely hard to get. An admissions consultant in Manhattan could charge up to $20,000 for a kindergarten placement.

In addition to the expensive annual tuition fees, children study with tutors after class: "A Yale Ph.D. graduate helps eighth - graders write history papers, and a Columbia University graduate helps them with English compositions."

There are also specialized test - training tutoring sessions that charge $800 per hour, as well as one - on - one private services provided by experts like the author, who graduated from Harvard.

The most important resource is what the author calls the "Hermès of tutoring". It's a well - known college admissions consulting team in New York. "They find some science and engineering courses, obscure history courses, and a drama writing course at Ivy League schools for students to take, seemingly covering all aspects to facilitate their entry into elite universities."

They take cars driven by chauffeurs to private schools every day. After school, they go to professional gyms or art institutions for practice. When they come back at night, different subject tutors are waiting for them.

Does it sound familiar? Except that the chauffeur might be their parents, this is also the daily life of many children in Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou, and Shenzhen who are aiming for Ivy League schools, and it might even be more intense.

Of course, child psychologists to relieve their stress and anxiety are also essential.

Beyond educational resources, as the "children of Gatsby", these children enjoy superior material conditions, especially the ability to travel around the world at will. Every vacation must include a trip.

The book that is commonly loved by children from the wealthiest 1% of families in the Upper East Side is The Great Gatsby.

In the Upper East Side, everything is the best. However, after observing the lives of thousands of children, the author began to question: Can there be an overabundance of good things for children?

Psychologist Abraham Maslow once proposed the concept of "peak experience", which refers to the wonderful, fascinating, and self - forgetting experiences we can have at certain moments when doing certain things. It's like standing on the top of a mountain. Although it's brief, it's profound, and it's an emotional experience of inner joy and satisfaction.

The author cited a series of psychological studies on peak experiences, and the results were the opposite for the children in the Upper East Side of New York.

■ The luxurious life in The Great Gatsby is extremely familiar to these children; it's their daily life.

If a person gets enough peak experiences without effort from a young age, they will rarely feel novelty in life:

For example, they can perform on stage in the first grade of primary school, hold art exhibitions in the fifth grade, and have been to Antarctica by junior high school. They have left their footprints all over the world, with a wide variety of experiences. However, they lose the pleasure of achieving something through hard work and instead fall into a sense of meaninglessness.

"These children hardly have anything to look forward to during their growth."

What is the other side of "having nothing to look forward to"?

Psychological researchers have also found that children who experience peak experiences from a young age, because everything comes too easily and they have too many choices, will lack a sense of boundaries and always need immediate gratification in the long run.

After immediate gratification comes long - term boredom, which is the feeling they usually have after having nothing to look forward to. And if they don't get immediate gratification, they will be extremely vulnerable.

Many parents are confused: Why don't my children work hard when I've provided them with such good conditions?

Perhaps this is the answer.

■ The author is a psychology doctor graduated from Harvard.

A More Terrible Situation

Meanwhile, behind children with "Affluenza in Childhood", there are often high expectations from their parents, which is often the last straw that breaks the camel's back.

With the author's further observation and psychological analysis, the high - pressure situation of these children gradually emerged.

The children in the Upper East Side first face the pressure of "pursuing high achievements". These pressures mainly come from the extremely anxious parents in the Upper East Side.

Beyond the author's imagination and understanding, these elites who are already at the top of the wealth pyramid "are not calmed by their wealth. Instead, they become more and more anxious. They think they must keep running non - stop, or they will fall."

These super - elite parents from Wall Street still fear failure and are afraid of a sudden decline in their socio - economic status.

"Fear is a major driving force for parents."

During the economic recession in 2009, the author thought the number of families needing tutors would decrease. Unexpectedly, the number of her students in the Upper East Side increased.

■ The White Lotus also features an elite father in Duke University's school uniform who tries to commit suicide, which is ridiculed by others: "One must never forget their elite school status." Duke University even issued a statement expressing its dissatisfaction.

This contrasting experience made the author deeply understand the fear in the hearts of the Upper East Side parents.

Among the achievements that can maintain the parents' sense of self - worth, the children's academic performance and college admissions have become very obvious ones. So, what the author sees as "endless high - quality educational resources" and those "educational privileges" built with countless amounts of money are essentially manifestations of values:

Education is more like an investment return. If a child can get into an Ivy League school, it proves that the time and resources invested by the parents have paid off. Therefore, the college admissions process has essentially become a game of money and privilege.

For parents in the Upper East Side, there are only three universities worth going to: Harvard, Princeton, and MIT. Johns Hopkins University can only be regrettably ranked as "second - tier".

For children, in a highly controlled environment, if they can't meet their parents' expectations, they will face huge pressure.

The author mentioned in the book that children in the Upper East Side who want to get into college through sports go through endless training. Whether it's raining, there's a power outage, or a typhoon, as long as the club is open, they must go for training.

The high - intensity sports training puts a heavy burden on their bodies and even causes irreversible damage. However, they are happy when they get injured because they don't have to continue training that day. Some even pray to get injured to get a break.

To make matters worse, parents are very busy, and it's a luxury for them to have dinner with their children once a week.

The parents' alienation and the pressure of pursuing high achievements push many children to the edge of problems, from depression, theft, and alcoholism to a more terrible situation observed by the author:

"They desperately try to ruin the future carefully arranged for them by their parents. Driven by a self - destructive impulse, they try all kinds of dangerous activities."

■ Children from wealthy families and poor families have the same likelihood of drug use and alcoholism.

The Lack of "Epiphany Moments"

In nearly 20 years, the author Blythe's tutoring fees in the Upper East Side have hardly increased, but she has her own principles.

She found that among these children from the top 1% of wealth, anxiety, depression, learning disabilities, and attention - deficit hyperactivity disorder are highly prevalent. Most of the "survivors" have one thing in common: the ability to think deeply.

It's easy to say but difficult to do.

Parents are in a hurry to make their children fulfill the mission of getting into an Ivy League school: "Many parents ask teachers to write papers on behalf of their children to get high scores in class and maintain their children's GPA."

But she won't write homework for students or turn their ideas into words because this kind of "accomplice - style" tutoring deprives the Upper East Side children of their limited thinking time:

"What I want to do is to inspire students, which requires treating them as people with thoughts, not just service recipients."

Many times, she has to cooperate with a large college admissions guidance team to help children successfully get offers from elite universities.

She has witnessed many children's journey to get into Ivy League schools and knows all the "insider secrets" of college applications, from SAT scores, family donations, summer school selections to alumni bonuses. However, there is one thing that is extremely important but has nothing to do with wealth, which is the "epiphany moment" related to college application essays.

Especially the college application essays that highlight personal characteristics are particularly important when applying for colleges.

The author Blythe summarized that a college application essay within 650 words "must reflect a certain world, moment, or epiphany that the admissions committee doesn't know yet."

An "epiphany moment" can be an individual's realization born out of setbacks, such as self - reflection, experiencing humiliation, or truly entering an unknown world.

In the author's view, for children who only have "peak experiences", the moments of enjoying a luxurious life can't be written into a wonderful college application essay, and they hardly ever experience epiphany moments.

Every minute of their lives is arranged.

■ A Stanford study found that during economic cycles, high - income parents' investment in education increases, and the gap with low - income families' educational investment also increases by 20%.

Secondly, this application essay can't be done by others. The applicant must keep the essay authentic. Even a little adult intervention will make the essay seem inauthentic - "Students must speak with their own voices, and their parents can no longer control the situation."

What can impress admissions officers is a "real and inspiring" essay.

Sadly, these children have traveled all over the world since childhood, but they always stay in luxury hotels, eat delicate meals, and just visit different scenic spots in a cursory way.

In their lives, they lack the experience of truly participating in life deeply.

After nearly 20 years of observation, Blythe has changed from being envious at first to disillusioned. She still concludes: "Money can make life dazzling, charming, and vivid, but it ultimately makes young people fall into loneliness, lovelessness, and a sense of meaninglessness."

As the holidays are approaching, everyone can break out of the consumerist trap and truly participate in a kind of life.