Perfect Days, the highest-rated Japanese film in 2023. The male protagonist, Hirayama, lives a simple and monotonous life alone, with hardly any ripples.

As a toilet cleaner, he has found his own rhythm and order. The repetition of small things constitutes the tranquility and warmth in his life.

Nowadays, more and more people choose to live alone.

Meanwhile, the global trend of remote work is significant.

People who live alone for a long time lack opportunities to communicate with others, which may lead to a lack of emotional support. The degradation of social skills is especially evident when returning to the workplace or participating in offline activities. Moreover, the home - working environment may also blur the boundary between work and life, further increasing stress and burnout.

The lifestyle presented in the movie might be the answer that many people are trying to find: how to coexist with loneliness and live a unique sense of peace and order in a solitary life.

Why does life need a sense of order?

Nearly half of Perfect Days describes Uncle Hirayama's repetitive daily life: getting up early every day, driving to work while listening to his favorite songs, having a sandwich in front of the temple at noon, watching the sunlight filtering through the leaves (Komorebi), and taking pictures with his camera. In the afternoon, he goes to the bathhouse to take a bath. In the evening, he goes home to read. On weekends, he buys second - hand books, develops films, and has a meal at the restaurant where the boss always smiles.

Psychologist Donald Winnicott pointed out in his "good - enough environment" theory that a stable daily environment can make people feel safe and supported. This sense of order is not imposed from the outside but is actively constructed by individuals according to their own needs.

"Komorebi" is a concise Japanese term that is repeatedly mentioned in this movie. Director Wim Wenders said, "This word is about the wind, the leaves, and the outlines left by the light and shadow on the wall or the ground."

This concept also reflects the sense of order in the movie - using a camera to record the sunlight filtering through the leaves and forming a mottled pattern on the ground. It may be ignored by most people, but in fact, it is full of rich and different details. Komorebi exists in every corner of daily life, but each beam of Komorebi is different.

The core of the sense of order is that by actively constructing a life framework, one can find direction and meaning from freedom. It can be reflected in regular daily exercises, setting fixed working hours, or keeping the space tidy. These behaviors may seem insignificant, but they form a psychological pillar for a person when facing uncertainties.

Through structured daily behaviors, while helping the body stay healthy, the sense of order endows daily life with predictability and stability, helping us establish the meaning of life.

In addition, it is also closely related to self - efficacy. Self - efficacy refers to an individual's confidence in completing a certain task or coping with challenges (Bandura & Adams, 1977). The sense of order simplifies and structures long - term life, enabling us to experience a sense of control in each small task.

9 Tips for a Sense of Order in Solo Living

On the Internet, many people have mentioned the experience brought by the sense of order in life:

Some people regain peace through jogging, breathing in rhythm with each step. Some people regain their rhythm by organizing clothes, folding each piece carefully. Others find healing in cooking, cutting vegetables one by one with a knife.

On online platforms, many people use the "check - in record" method to give order to their lives.

So, how can ordinary people find their own peace in solo living? Here are 9 "plans to build a sense of order".

1. Morning Ritual: Start the Day with Sunshine

In the early morning, a simple daily routine for one person can be the key to starting a beautiful day. In Perfect Days, Uncle Hirayama has a fixed morning routine. He gets up early, shaves, washes his face, brushes his teeth, waters the plants, puts on his blue work uniform, puts on accessories in a fixed order at the entrance, walks out of the room, and buys a canned coffee of the same brand from the vending machine.

The reason why the morning ritual can improve happiness is that it gives us a sense of control over time. According to the research of psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, participating in structured morning activities can enhance positive emotions and improve overall well - being. This sense of ritual strengthens the brain's expected reward mechanism through repeated behaviors, helping to start the day with a positive emotional tone.

Give yourself a morning ritual! Brew a cup of your favorite coffee, meditate quietly for 10 minutes, or read a few pages of a book.

2. Go Out and Wander, Feel Everything

When you feel exhausted at home alone, try changing the environment. In the movie, Uncle Hirayama likes to take walks and bike rides after work, smiling and observing the world around him.

The "Attention Restoration Theory" in psychology points out that the natural environment can provide opportunities to restore attention and relieve mental fatigue. This behavior of contacting nature reduces cortisol levels (stress hormones), promoting emotional stability and mental health.

Try taking a walk on the balcony or downstairs. You may see a particularly beautiful sunrise or sunset, smell the aroma of food, or meet a cute kitten.

3. Regular and Relaxed Socializing

Do you also have a place you often go to that always makes you feel relaxed? In Perfect Days, when Uncle Hirayama pushes open the door of the izakaya, the landlady smiles and asks him, "The usual?" At that moment, the little joy of being remembered seems to soothe the fatigue of his whole day.

Humans are naturally in need of positive social connections to meet emotional needs (Baumeister & Leary, 1995). Regular dinners with old friends, especially in a familiar environment, can more easily meet this psychological need.

This kind of warm and familiar interaction can also add a sense of security to your life. As Zajonc (1968) emphasized in his research, repeated exposure to the environment can reduce strangeness and strengthen the psychological sense of order. These interactions not only satisfy the sense of belonging but also help people living alone establish emotional control through regularity and familiarity.

Set aside some time every day to chat with a few friends who make you happy. It doesn't need to be long, just a few light - hearted topics. You can also choose a day to call an old friend, meet at a familiar small restaurant for a meal, and order a dish that you both like.

4. Tidy Up the House, Tidy Up Your Emotions

When the windows are wiped crystal - clear and the old CDs and books in the low cabinet are rearranged neatly, the mood seems to become calm as well. In the movie, Uncle Hirayama's process of focusing on details while tidying up is not only about taking care of the environment but also about sorting out his own emotions.

Psychologist Charles Carver's "Behavioral Activation" theory points out that completing small, specific tasks can effectively enhance the sense of control and reduce anxiety. Through these tasks, the brain's reward system (dopaminergic pathways) is activated, thereby alleviating low mood.

Try to turn some trivial housework into a kind of mini - meditation like Uncle Hirayama: focus on folding the quilt or rearrange the bookshelf by color.

5. Eat on Time and Eat Well

Many people are touched by the scene of Uncle Hirayama having lunch alone slowly and attentively. It seems that he really knows how to enjoy his meal: chewing the food carefully and savoring the taste of each bite.

This can actually be understood as a kind of "Mindful Eating". It advocates perceiving the taste, smell, and texture of food and appreciating it with a grateful heart. This not only enhances the pleasure of dining but also brings inner peace.

You can also try to arrange fixed meal times for yourself every day. Put down your phone, focus on the food in front of you, and feel the changes with each chew. This conscious way of eating can enhance our inner satisfaction and the sense of control over our bodies.

6. Use Social Media More Wisely

When you have a lot of free time, you are likely to be inundated by social media.

The negative impact of social media on the mental health of young people is getting more and more attention. A recent study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology by Columbia University shows that mental health depends on "how to use" social media rather than the length of use.

In this era of information explosion, social media can be a source of distraction or an important tool for connection. Try to make the following changes: turn off automatic notifications, unfollow content creators who make you anxious, and turn scrolling into an opportunity to interact with friends.

This more "thoughtful" way of using social media can relieve anxiety and help you build a more orderly online relationship.

7. Divide Work into Short Time Slots

When studying or working at home alone, have you ever felt oppressed by a pile of tasks? On social media, netizens have recommended an effective time - management tool to improve focus and rebuild the sense of order in life.

It is the Pomodoro Technique. By dividing work into short time slots, we can reduce decision - making fatigue, feel the ease of separating from complex tasks, and concentrate on completing small tasks one by one. As these small achievements accumulate, it will also improve our emotional stability and life satisfaction.

8. There Must Be "Leisure" Time

Have you noticed that Uncle Hirayama in the movie always creates some short breaks during his workday? He plays his favorite songs in the car and uses his camera to record the mottled light and shadow during lunch breaks.

The Working Memory Theory proposed by psychologists Alan Baddeley and Graham Hitch shows that short pauses can effectively relieve information overload and improve the brain's ability to process complex problems.

No matter how busy you are at work, remember to set a time to turn off all electronic devices, stand up and stretch, or read a few pages of a comic. Learning to relax is the prerequisite for better work.

9. End the Day with a Small Thing

After work, he goes to the bathhouse to take a bath and reads a book before going to bed at home. This is how Uncle Hirayama's day in the movie ends.

Maintaining a regular life rhythm is very important. The "Circadian Rhythm Theory" in psychology shows that the stability of the circadian rhythm is closely related to emotional regulation and cognitive function. Exposure to natural light in the morning can inhibit the secretion of melatonin, helping the body wake up. Reducing exposure to blue light at night allows the body to naturally enter a rest state, which is more conducive to deep sleep.

Each of us can also set our own bedtime ritual, such as reading, soaking feet, or using gentle music instead of the phone screen to relax the body and mind and draw a clear end to the day.

Life is always full of changes that can destroy our existing order. This may be the reason why some people don't like the movie Perfect Days. It is too idealistic and artistic, ignoring the cruelty of reality.

Perfect Days is of course not perfect, but it presents another perspective - in real life, try hard to build small "orders".

Sometimes, we just need to start with those seemingly insignificant small things. After all, it is the moments of "joy" that support our long - term life.